Thursday, June 16, 2005
career building exercises
ok. been thinking of my accomplishments in this past month and realized that i have some great new skills.
things to add to resume...
ok. been thinking of my accomplishments in this past month and realized that i have some great new skills.
things to add to resume...
- mastery of expelling large objects through small openings
- consults experts when need arises
- ability to handle sudden changes in client's attitude, usually resulting in projectile vomit. (earned award for smiling through the entire cleanup of my own face and clothes)
- expert in cleaning up shite a client produces with speed and dexterity.
- problem solver in diaper size awareness(small diapers & large explosive poops do not work well together)
- expert in projectile shite measurement(good thing I took fluid dynamics I and II in college, I just KNEW that mechanical eng degree would pan out for me)
- bath project team lead, focused on cleaning client's assets while maintaining head above water
- proficient in rectum temperature reading(20 second timers are a product of God)
- ability to get cranky, angry client to sleep with clean diaper and full tummy
it's a good thing these qualities are required to work for Uncle Sam. I had no idea I should add them to my resume. might be time for a raise!
diaper changes in last 5 hours: 4, clothes changes in last 5 hours: 3, total sleeping hours between 11pm and 8am: 6.
