Wednesday, June 02, 2004
Sickcadas!
Welcome, Welcome Phlegmites!
In case you are just tuning in, it is I, Sharondarella, guest blogger, filling in for Peekay while she’s on vacay. Unfortunately, I know nothing about soccer, and the only thing I can definitely say about the game is that I would certainly not be playing it now, not with all of the cicadas in the grass. UGH!
Now that I'm doing the cicada-bashing, I have to admit, I found myself feeling sorry for them today. They work so hard to get out of the ground, then push themselves out of their shell bodies, followed by an early rising so they can sing their song of love all day long. They crawl sturdily along the ground or fly in crazy, happy-drunk loops, but in the end, they still get stepped on, snapped up by animals, or hit by a car.
I’ve noticed two cicada happenings that have puzzled me:
1. When you hit a cicada with the front of your SUV doing about 25mph, the cicada does not react in the common way. Normally, when you hit a bug with your car/truck, the bug either splats on the windshield or front grille, or else it ricochets off to the side. Cicadas go straight up. Seriously. You hit one head on and they go straight up into the air. Not only do they have to have red eyes, a piercing shriek and an apparently insatiable lust for love, but they defy the laws of gravity?
2. When the birds are done eating, there is nothing left of the cicadas except asses laying all around in my yard. The birds seem to eat everything except the butt! Is this because the birds are looking for a good piece of ass, and the cicadas just don’t have it? My own theory is this is how they lay their eggs! The cicadas who have mated and procreated, now have to lay those eggs. However, mother nature knows this is a veritable food fest for all of the critters, so what is a mother to do? Plant the eggs in the ass! That way, when the birds don’t eat it, that part will eventually go into the ground and when that happens the eggs go into the ground as well. Then, 17 years from now, the ass opens up and spits out the eggs!
Is that not the most disgusting thing you’ve ever heard?
It’s obviously past Sharondarella’s bedtime. ;p
In case you are just tuning in, it is I, Sharondarella, guest blogger, filling in for Peekay while she’s on vacay. Unfortunately, I know nothing about soccer, and the only thing I can definitely say about the game is that I would certainly not be playing it now, not with all of the cicadas in the grass. UGH!
Now that I'm doing the cicada-bashing, I have to admit, I found myself feeling sorry for them today. They work so hard to get out of the ground, then push themselves out of their shell bodies, followed by an early rising so they can sing their song of love all day long. They crawl sturdily along the ground or fly in crazy, happy-drunk loops, but in the end, they still get stepped on, snapped up by animals, or hit by a car.
I’ve noticed two cicada happenings that have puzzled me:
1. When you hit a cicada with the front of your SUV doing about 25mph, the cicada does not react in the common way. Normally, when you hit a bug with your car/truck, the bug either splats on the windshield or front grille, or else it ricochets off to the side. Cicadas go straight up. Seriously. You hit one head on and they go straight up into the air. Not only do they have to have red eyes, a piercing shriek and an apparently insatiable lust for love, but they defy the laws of gravity?
2. When the birds are done eating, there is nothing left of the cicadas except asses laying all around in my yard. The birds seem to eat everything except the butt! Is this because the birds are looking for a good piece of ass, and the cicadas just don’t have it? My own theory is this is how they lay their eggs! The cicadas who have mated and procreated, now have to lay those eggs. However, mother nature knows this is a veritable food fest for all of the critters, so what is a mother to do? Plant the eggs in the ass! That way, when the birds don’t eat it, that part will eventually go into the ground and when that happens the eggs go into the ground as well. Then, 17 years from now, the ass opens up and spits out the eggs!
Is that not the most disgusting thing you’ve ever heard?
It’s obviously past Sharondarella’s bedtime. ;p
